A lot of people struggle with feeling like they genuinely really love themselves. Yes, many people tend to view their flaws or defects over their positive characteristics most of the time. When is the last time you looked in the mirror, looked directly into your own eyes, and said, “I love you!?” When is the last time you sat down and really took inventory of the things you love about yourself?
It’s common to want to feel loved and appreciated by others. It makes us feel good. This is why so many people do things that perhaps they shouldn’t do in order to vie for attention and love. They may cave into peer pressure or do things that they are not really comfortable doing in order to feel accepted and loved. Some call it “people pleasing”, which essentially means you do a lot of things to try to please others so that you feel better about yourself. This is just one example.
What about the love you have for yourself? Do you ever stop to think about your self-worth? Do you feel worthy of love? Do you think you really love yourself and think that you deserve the best?
Self-worth is the way you feel about yourself. What are you worth to you? Do you feel like you are doing the best that you can in life? Or do you dislike a lot of things about yourself? If you struggle with self-worth, you will probably have a difficult time receiving compliments. When someone says, “You look gorgeous!” you will play it off and sort of feel bad inside- like there’s no way on earth you could look so good! Or you will not take good care of yourself because you don’t think you deserve to be cared for.
There are various factors that impact self worth. Some people struggle with self-worth because of trauma or abuse that happened to them as children or things that have occurred as adults. For example, a child that was verbally or sexually abused as a child might struggle with self-worth. A man who has left a string of broken relationships might not be able to love himself well. Regardless of why you struggle with low self-worth, there are things you can do to increase your love of self.
Begin a new journey
It’s time to begin a new journey; a journey of falling in love with yourself. A journey of letting the past go and creating a future that you love. We can’t change the past. We can’t go back and change everything, but we can take positive action going forward.
Start with a simple step: Take a deep breath, look at yourself in the mirror, and just say it: “I love you!” You might feel a little silly the first couple of times, but you will get used to it and I bet you will start to feel better about yourself as well. You may not believe it at first, because if you truly don’t love yourself, it’s not true. However, that is where truth can heal you. Feel the feeling of untruth and think about how that makes you feel. If you can face the fact that you aren’t loving yourself, you can find the strength to find out WHY.
Here are 7 ways you can love yourself more:
1. Write down positive affirmations and speak them out loud. Here are a few examples:
- I am a beautiful inside and out.
- I love me!
- I am worthy of love and happiness.
- I am always working on improving myself.
- I always try to be a blessing to myself and others.
- I have accomplished some great things in life.
- People love me!
- I am very lovable.
- I am confident and happy.
- I’m working to create the life I want.
2. Spend some time with just YOU. Yes, take some time to delight in yourself. Take yourself on a date. Watch a movie. Take a day off and spend it doing something you love. Walk through the park. Meditate. Sit in nature and listen to the birds. Get your nails or hair done. Learn to enjoy your very own presence and you’ll certainly be loving yourself more and more by doing so.
3. Write yourself a poem post it on your bathroom mirror or put in on an index card and carry it around. Create a love poem for yourself on your mirror. You can also write it on an index card and put it in your purse/bad. Write about the things you love about YOU. Read it every time you go into the bathroom or before every meal. Smile, knowing that you are worthy and full of love.
4. Feed your soul. Read an inspiring book. Watch a motivational movie. Attend worship service. Attend a powerful seminar. Feed your soul good things regularly.
5. Become more fit and healthy. Loving yourself is not about losing weight to reach some ideal size. It’s about wanting to be your best you, and that means being as fit and healthy as you can be. Eat more healthy foods and find an exercise routine that works for you. Just like a mother feeds her child nutritious foods out of love, so you can feed yourself the same out of love.
6. Practice self-care. Take care of yourself. Get to bed at a reasonable hour. Set boundaries with others and keep them. Don’t compromise your morals, your beliefs or your dreams. See to it that YOU are taken care of.
7. Reach out to others. Yes, giving to others can make us feel better about ourselves. The more you come to love yourself, the more inclined you will be to share the love with others in a healthy way.
Be proud of who you are and the areas that you’re not thrilled with, work on them. Create a plan to do something different for those areas. For example, if you have been moody around the house and taking your stress out on the family, make a decision to find the root of your stress and moodiness and deal with it. You will change by taking action. As you focus on changing, you will not only change, but also come to love yourself abundantly!
After all, you are worthy!